Family faces rare disorder with faith

 

Aurit Update

Two weeks, Scott and Sarah Aurit of Omaha were on Spirit Mornings to share their story of faith and their family’s struggle with a rare children’s digestive disorder (see the previous blog). At the time, they were working on getting a legislative bill passed that would require insurance companies to help pay for the coverage of the specialized formula the three Aurit children and others must take for nutrition.

 

It’s been a couple weeks of highs and lows for the Aurits, but yesterday, Nebraska lawmakers finally advanced the bill, which also included mandating insurance coverage of intensive autism therapy and oral cancer drugs. The measure won first-round approval Wednesday after several failed attempts to attach it to other bills in the final days of this year’s session.

 

The proposals eventually were amended into Legislative bill 254 after its original contents were removed.

 

“It felt like we were witnessing a miracle yesterday to see that the bill passed with a 41-0 vote! Praise, God!” Sarah Aurit said. “It was inspiring to watch the senators come together and come up with another plan in an effort to help the sick and the young.”

 

The formula proposal initially was an effort to require insurance coverage of specialized formulas, but supporters compromised on legislation mandating the state to pay for the formula for children who take it orally. The cost would be about $250,000 per year.

 

Currently, Nebraska’s Medicaid program covers the formula for people with feeding tubes. And the Women, Infants and Children program covers it for low-­income children who take it orally. But there are few coverage options for others who take it orally.

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For Scott and Sarah Aurit and their children, there’s no such thing as a “normal” meal in their Elkhorn home.  

 

Their children – J.P., 11, Gianna, 9, and Lizzie, 7 – have a newly discovered gastrointestinal disorder called eosinophilic esophagitis, which makes it painful and harmful to eat most foods. 

 

With the disorder, their white blood cells, which normally fight infection, identify food proteins as parasites and attack them and in turn damages the stomach. Symptoms can resemble food allergies or the flu, with severe vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain and insomnia.

 

Each Aurit child has a number of real foods they can eat. But they receive most of their nutrients through an elemental formula that’s served powdered or premixed and artificially flavored. Gianna can drink it, but J.P. and Lizzie take the formula through feeding tubes implanted in their abdomens.

 

The formula is necessary, and expensive. 

 

For the Aurits, the cost of the formula is comparable to a mortgage payment … times three.

 

An insurance person once even suggested they legally divorce to qualify for government aid to pay for this formula.

 

The Aurits were on Spirit Mornings last week talking about their effort with other Nebraska families to pass Legislative Bill 397, which would allow coverage of the formula regardless of how it’s consumed. Currently, some insurers will only cover the formula if it’s tube fed, not orally fed.

Discovering the disease 
 

As a baby, J.P. had several food allergies – and that’s what doctors initially said they were … food allergies. It wasn’t until they want to a specialist at Children’s Hospital in Omaha that J.P. was diagnosed with EE.

 

When Gianna was born a few years later, she seemed healthy, so Scott and Sarah didn’t have her tested. Lizzie, however, had immediate food aversions – by far the worst of the children – but she couldn’t be tested until she was two-year-old. After testing positive for the disease, Gianna was tested, too. And shockingly the results were the same. 

 

The disease is rare to begin with so to have it with all three children is extremely rare, said Sarah, who also has a lesser-severe form of EE. 

 

She takes steriods to alleviate her symptoms. 

 

Eventually the family began receiving care from the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, and pulled out food from the children’s diets. But nothing helped. So the doctors recommended the children stop eating all food, which was very devastating, Sarah said. 

 

“I mean, how do you tell a five-year-old that they are no longer able to eat?” she said.

That’s when the kids transitioned their nutrition to this elemental formula.

That’s their baseline, Sarah said, the building block. Each child tries one food at a time after every three foods receives a scope to make sure no damage has been done internally, she said. 

 

Scott and Sarah said they initially hid food and not eat in front of the kids, but stopped because they didn’t want their kids to be afraid of food. Now each child can eat certain foods, and Sarah has learned to be creative when it comes to cooking, the family can enjoy dinner together.

 

“We’ve made a lot of progress,” Sarah said.

 

Living with the disease
 

In many ways, the Aurit kids are like most kids. 

They love sports, Gianna likes to write songs, and J.P loves legos.

 

But in many ways, their disease also sets them apart. 

Sarah said her kids sometimes feel left out because they can’t eat the birthday treats their classmates bring in at Fire Ridge Elementary in Elkhorn or the snacks served after a sporting game.

 

Even at Mass, it can be an issue, she said. J.P. and Gianna, who both have received first Communion, aren’t able to consume the hosts. Instead they receive the consecrated wine, which isn’t always available at every Mass.

But the Aurit kids still get to participate in fun activities. 

On Halloween, for instance, the kids went trick-or-treating. But instead of eating their candy, their parents bought it from them and took the kids toy shopping with the money they earned. Sarah gave the candy to local dentist who shipped it to soldiers overseas.

Two years ago the Aurits took their first big family vacation. They chose Disney World specifically because Disney parks accommodate people with food allergies, Sarah said. Before they left for Florida, she sent the park a list of all the foods her kids could eat.

 

Turning to faith
 

For Sarah, the hardest part of all of this is watching her children suffer physically, mentally, emotionally and sometimes even spiritually.  

“It rips my heart out to see them in pain or vomiting, or feeling left out from activities at school and the holidays,” she said. 

Dragging them to medical appointments, getting blood draws, approving painful medical procedures and not having an end point to shoot for make it all very difficult as a parent, she said.  

The Aurits, members of St. Wenceslaus Parish in Omaha, said they have a strong support system of friends, family and others who live with this disease – some worse off than them. But they rely on their faith to more than anything else.

“I honestly don't know where we would be without our faith,” Sarah said. “We have hit some really dark spots … but in those moments, God is so tangible.” 

She said she sees it as an honor to be able to join her family’s sufferings with Christ's. 

“We do it imperfectly, but there is meaning attached to what we go through,” she said. 

 

She said she thinks perhaps her family is being called to a radical form of fasting.

 

“I know we can use it for good,” Sarah said. “I think it’s going to be a blessing in the long run.”

Legislative efforts

 

The Aurits said they are grateful to have negotiated some time-limited coverage through Medicaid for Gianna and J.P. because of their feeding tubes. They now, however, are in the middle of a “perfect storm” where they fear losing all avenues of access, Sarah said.

 

That’s why for the last couple of years the family has worked to have legislation passed requiring insurance companies to cover the elemental formula. 

 

Currently there are 16 other states that have passed similar laws to what the Aurits want to do in Nebraska. They’re working with many parents throughout the country to garner support for Legislative Bill 397 and share information. 

“This isn’t a right or left issue; this is a medical issue and it’s a response to the disease,” Scott said. “This is a formula that is prescribed by a doctor, obtained at a pharmacy through that prescription and you have to be under the care of physician throughout this process, and those items are included in the bill, too.”

The Aurits learned Wednesday that the Banking and Insurance Committee will vote on the bill April 1. 

They’re asking people to pray and to contact the committee members and ask for a vote and for the support for this to go to the full legislature, Scott said. Then they may attach the bill to a few other bills and let the full legislature vote on it, he said. 

“We’re really in the crunch zone here. We’ve got two weeks left to move this process through,” Scott said.

Even though a legislative vote looks promising right now, they understand things might not go in their favor. Sarah said if that happens, her family will be OK. She’s more worried about the other families who are “hanging on by a thread.”  

“We know families who have lost their homes, filed bankruptcy, lost everything because this formula is just so expensive,” Sarah said.

 

Others get their formula in unsafe ways by buying it off ebay or purchasing open containers, or have a child get a feeding tube placed just so their insurance company will cover the costs, she said. That involves surgery, it’s expensive and complications are involved.

“People are so desperate,” she said. “There’s definitely a need there.”

 

Want to help?
 

The Aurits hope people will contact members of the Nebraska Banking, Commerce and Insurance Committee and encourage them to support the LB397.

 

Nebraska Banking, Commerce, and Insurance Committee

• Sen. Mike Gloor, Chairperson 

Phone: (402) 471-2617

Email: mgloor@leg.ne.gov

• Sen. Kathy Campbell 

Phone: (402) 471-2731

Email: kcampbell@leg.ne.gov

• Sen. Tom Carlson 

Phone: (402) 471-2732

Email: tcarlson@leg.ne.gov

• Sen. Mark Christensen 

Phone: (402) 471-2805

Email: mchristensen@leg.ne.gov

• Sen. Tommy Garrett 

Phone: (402) 471-2627

Email: tgarrett@leg.ne.gov

• Sen. Sara Howard 

Phone: (402) 471-2723

Email: showard@leg.ne.gov

• Sen. Pete Pirsch 

Phone: (402) 471-2621

Email: ppirsch@leg.ne.gov

• Sen. Paul Schumacher 

Phone: (402) 471-2715

Email: pschumacher@leg.ne.gov

Blogged by Lisa Maxson, senior writer/reporter.

The Light is On

Photo courtesy: St. Louis Review | Archdiocese of St. Louis.

 

 

 

The light is on again.

This Lent, Catholics in the Archdiocese of Omaha and the Diocese of Des Moines, especially those who have been away from the Church or the sacrament, are invited to experience God’s mercy and forgiveness through the sacrament of reconciliation.

Archbishop George Lucas and Bishop Richard Pates said they hope that through “The Light is On” initiative more people will participate in the sacrament during Lent. 

To make it more convenient, most churches have additional confession times during the Lenten season.

At nearly every Catholic church in the archdiocese, priests will be available for confessions on five Thursdays during Lent – March 13, 20, 27, April 3 and 10 – from 5:30 to 7 p.m., in addition to regular reconciliation schedules.

Parishes in the Diocese of Des Moines will publicize days and times when a priest will be available for the sacrament.

Priests in both dioceses have been asked to talk about the sacrament during homilies at Sunday Masses. In the archdiocese last weekend, priests led a communal “examination of conscience” to help people reflect on their sins and the promise of forgiveness found through confession.

Deacon Tim McNeil, chancellor of the Archdiocese of Omaha, said the archdiocese is offering the initiative again because feedback from priests last year was positive. They reported a number of people returned to the sacrament after being away for many years, Deacon McNeil said, and many commented on the healing that took place during last year’s effort.

Father Joseph Brodou, pastor of Mary Our Queen Parish in Omaha, said “The Light is On” initiative brings awareness to the sacrament of reconciliation and gives people a great opportunity every Thursday to receive and experience the love and mercy of God.

“The sacrament of reconciliation teaches us humility,” Father Brodou said. “We come to appreciate that we have faults and we need God in our lives.”

In his recent column in The Catholic Mirror, the newspaper of the Diocese of Des Moines, Bishop Pates said that by reconciling with God through the sacrament of confession, we place our temptations, troubles and sins before God, who relieves us of the pain and guilt caused by sin, and he extends forgiveness and initiates the process of healing.

“The more we sin and the more we sin seriously, the colder our relationship with God becomes until it is deeply frozen,” he said. “Thaw begins when we have some perception of the havoc which is created in our lives when we are ever more devoid of God’s presence.”

Inevitably, he said, the outcome of the sacrament is uplifting, liberating, and it initiates a new beginning.

Archbishop Lucas encourages Catholics to visualize themselves making a good confession and hearing the words of absolution.

“Set a time and place to celebrate the sacrament and put a mark on your calendar,” he said. “Jesus, who died and rose for us, wants you to experience his love in a more profound way, in the part of your life wounded by sin. Try him and find out the depth of his care for you.”

Resources on the sacrament of reconciliation, such as ways to prepare for the sacrament, and how to grow in understanding and appreciation of the sacrament, can be found at dmdiocese.org/alightforyou and thelightisonomaha.org.

 
Blogged by Lisa Maxson, senior writer/reporter

Lent

This week marks the beginning of the Lenten season – 40 days of prayer, penance, sacrifice and good works in preparation for the celebration of Jesus’ resurrection at Easter.

Lent is one of my favorite times of the year because I like the challenge this season brings to deny myself, grow in my relationship with Christ and be a more giving person.

This year, Pope Francis is urging us to make Lenten sacrifices for others, especially the poor.

In his Lenten message for 2014, he said we as Christians are called to confront the poverty of others, “to touch it, to make it our own and to take practical steps to alleviate it.” The whole church must bear witness to those who live in material, moral and spiritual destitution the Gospel message of the merciful love of God, who is ready to embrace everyone in Christ, the pope said.

I’d like to share a Lenten ritual I’ve done since college. I think it works with what Pope Francis is suggesting.

Before Lent begins, I sit down with my calendar and designate a person or issue for each day during Lent, and make daily sacrifices or do extra things for that intention. For instance, one day’s sacrifices and good works might be offered for my sister. On that day, I will pray for her and her intentions. I also might drink my coffee black instead of with cream and sugar, not eat a dessert after lunch and send her a little note … offering them all up for her.

I think it’s helpful to have a face or an issue, such as abortion or poverty, as a motivation. It also makes the sacrifices and good works easier when I have a focus. We all need prayers and I’m sure everyone I’m going to pray for has a special intention. 

Whatever you do or don’t do during Lent, use them as an opportunity to grow in your relationship with Christ, whose ultimate sacrifice of death gives us all eternal life.

Lenten regulations

Lent begins Ash Wednesday, March 5, and continues until the Easter triduum, which begins with evening Mass of the Lord's Supper on Thursday, April 17, and runs through Easter Sunday, April 20.

The law of abstinence prohibits eating meat but allows eggs, milk products and sauces made with animal fat and applies to all Catholics ages 14 and older on Ash Wednesday, the Fridays of Lent and Good Friday (April 18).

The law of fasting allows a single full meal each day and two light meals at other times but no solid food between meals and applies to Catholics ages 18-59 on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.

Blogged by Lisa Maxson, senior writer/reporter.

Theology on Tap

Sometimes it’s difficult for the Catholic Church to reach young adults because many of them often move or don’t belong to any specific parish. But the church has found a positive way to reach both young Catholics who are heavily involved in their faith, as well as those who haven’t been to church in years.

Photo courtesy of RENEW International

Theology on Tap, an international program geared toward Catholics in their 20s and 30s, single or married, provides a way for young adults to connect with their peers, form friendships and build their faith at the same time.

The Catholic speaker series, which has taken place in the Archdiocese of Omaha off and on for many years, started in Chicago in 1981 and now is run by RENEW International. 

Participants typically meet in the laid-back atmosphere of a bar or restaurant – a more comfortable setting for those who might be intimidated by church activities or write them off as boring and stuffy – where they listen to a speaker talk about issues of faith and morals while enjoying food and drinks.

Beth Staab, a member of the Theology on Tap core team, said Theology on Tap works to inform and empower the young adults in attendance with information about their faith so their lives can be enriched and they can better spread the truth about the faith to others.

Being archdiocesan-based rather than parish-based allows it to be an event where young people from different parishes can meet and form friendships, she said.

“Anytime I go to a different parish than my own now, I can usually spot someone I've met at Theology on Tap,” Staab said.

In the Archdiocese of Omaha, two series of four speakers take place every year.

The Lenten series will begin Thursday, March 6, and will continue every Thursday in March at McKenna’s at 72^nd and Pacific streets in Omaha. Socializing and free appetizers begin at 7 p.m. and the speaker goes on at 7:30 p.m. It’s followed by a Q&A session around 8:15 p.m.

Many people stay afterwards to catch up with friends and get to know each other more, Staab said.

At the March 6 gathering, Father Paul Hoesing, vocations director for the archdiocese, will speak about what Pope Francis and his portrayal in the media. The talk is titled “Pope Francis Said What!?!?”

The March 13 speakers are Deacon Duane Karmazin and his wife, Eileen, of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish in Omaha, who will address the topic of chastity before marriage.

“It is difficult in this day and age for young adults to stay pure until they have discerned their vocation to marriage or religious life. It can be disheartening when that process takes more than a few years,” Staab said. “The deacon and his wife will speak from personal experience about the struggle of ‘Being Counter Cultural in the Hook-Up World,’ which is the title of their talk.”

On March 20, Father Steve Thomlison, associate pastor of St. Mary Parish in Nebraska City, will speak about military chaplains. In his talk, “A Military Chaplin’s Reflections,” he will share his experiences of serving as a captain in the Nebraska National Guard, where he is an Army chaplain, and as the command chaplain for the Nebraska State Patrol.

The speaker at the March 27 event is Dr. Jerry Martin, a retired lieutenant colonel, who will talk about “When Is War Just?”

If you’re a young adult, consider attending the Lenten Theology on Tap series. It’s a great way to grow in your faith.

Blogged by Lisa Maxson, senior writer/reporter.

Lenten Prayer Walk

When the weather is nice, Mary Lou Alfieri takes a daily walk around her Papillion neighborhood and prays a rosary for the people who live on her street. 

She’s been doing this for about seven years – ever since her parish, St. Columbkille, did it as a Lenten program. Most people stopped when Lent was over, but Mary Lou continued.

St. Columbkille Parish is doing this project again for Lent, and already 50 people have signed up to participate, said Sister Jean Marie Faltus, religious formation director for the parish. From now until Easter, people are invited to walk their street every day or as often as possible and to pray with the “eyes of Jesus ,” she said.

“Try to see what Jesus would see if he was walking down your street,” she said. “We want the entire parish covered with prayer.”

Sister Jean Marie said prayer walkers are to pray for God’s purpose to be lived in every person’s life, God’s preparation for each person’s heart during this Lenten season, God’s presence in each person’s life and God’s grace to be released in the parish, homes, school and places of work.

Mary Lou said she likes praying for her neighbors, especially if her prayers are helping others. If she can’t walk outside, she prays for them at home and at daily Mass, she said.

“Who knows who’s out there in need of prayer,” she said. “I hope that my prayer helped someone feel good that day.”

In conjunction with the prayer walkers project, parishioners at St. Columbkille will read the same book during Lent, Sister Jean Marie said.

Members of the parish’s 25 faith sharing groups involved in the Spirituality-Faith Alive program will read “Encouraging Change,” by Father Joseph Siksica and use an accompanying journal written by Sister Jean Marie. This year they’ve extended the invitation to read the book to all parishioners. So far 100 additional books have been purchased by parishioners not involved with the faith sharing groups, Sister Jean Marie said, which means more than 500 people are set to participate.

“The thing I’m asking everyone who reads the book to do is change one little thing in their lives,” Sister Jean Marie said. “We really need this dome of prayer to keep everybody going during the season.”

Blogged by Lisa Maxson, senior writer/reporter

Catholic online dating: Keep the channels God gives you open.

He worked in the Middle Eastern desert doing hard things for his country for long hours and even longer months. He rode on camels and in armored tanks and breathed the driest air known to man. He discovered, much to his chagrin, that the Iraqi and Afghan heat is unlike anything you can experience anywhere else. It engulfs your being on the scorched desert sand. He learned that when the sun hides and the stars shine and you stand out in the nothing, in the utter quiet, it’s the easiest place on earth to talk to God.  

After his last tour in Iraq was coming to a close, he prepared to make the transition back into “normal” American life. After almost two years in the desert for his final deployment, he didn’t have any sense of community to come home too. He wanted to get married and start a family soon. But he didn’t know any girls. Especially any Catholic ones. And so three weeks before he returned home to the States, he signed up for a membership on CatholicMatch.com.

She returned to her beloved South after college, speaking truth words over radio waves and across conference rooms. She was passionate about many things and wanted to give all for a generation who so desperately needed their Savior. The Pope who had lit her generation on fire had ignited her heart too. The topics EWTN wanted her most to address on the show she hosted for teens were those related to dating, relationships, and chastity, because these were the hot button topics of her peers. And so she encouraged, she challenged, she convicted hearts. And even though she told them to wait as long as it takes – because in the end it would be worth every moment of the waiting – her heart grew weary as the years went by and still, her dream of marriage was just that: a distant dream. And so on her birthday on a late November evening, she signed up for a membership to CatholicMatch.com.

He says the laugh lines around her mouth and eyes are what first caught his attention, because he could tell she smiled a lot. He started emailing her through the dating site. And eventually she wrote back.

On Valentine’s Day 2008, they talked on the phone for the very first time.

And the rest is history.

Or perhaps the rest is now just our story: the one about dozens of plane trips back and forth for weekend dates, spending way too much time on the phone, wishing we lived closer than the 516 miles that separated us from the moment we met on Catholic Match until the week we became husband and wife a year and a half later. 

It’s a story of big moves and big transitions. Of babies being born and children being raised. Of striving to love and grow and learn and live.

Marrying Peter Weinert was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Truly, as we approach our fifth anniversary this summer, I am more in awe of what a great match we are now than I was when we met. We fit together so well. And I can assure you I have no idea how we’d ever have met if it hadn’t been for CatholicMatch.com. Truly, it brought two hearts together that otherwise would most likely never meet in “real life.”

It strikes me as ironic that in the social media-soaked society we live in, my husband and I still get nervous looks from single people when we share how we met, followed by a comment such as: “I could NEVER date someone on the Internet!”

And here’s what I wish I could assure every single Catholic in the world on this Valentine’s Day: You don’t date a person on the internet. You use the dating site as a tool (one of many) for meeting new people. But just as in any relationship, you must do the dating part in person. Within a few weeks of meeting on CatholicMatch, Peter flew down to South Carolina to meet my family and me in person. Even though our email and phone conversations were amazing, there’s no substitute for getting to know someone in person. A hefty sacrifice when you live long distance from each other, but totally, totally worth it.

If you’re single and dreaming of marriage this Valentine’s Day, I hope you’ll consider joining an online dating site. It never hurts to keep all the doors and all the options and channels God gives us open.

Trust me.

About Stephanie:

Stephanie Weinert is a Catholic speaker, blogger, and media personality. She lives in Charlotte, NC, with her husband Peter and their three sons: Mark (3), Luke (2), and Garrett (6 months). She blogs about marriage, motherhood, and everyday life at: www.LittleBitofParadise.wordpress.com

A Father's Forgiveness

Bud Welch. Photo courtesy Nebraskans
for Alternatives to the Death Penalty. 

Currently Nebraska has no means to carry out an execution because state officials have not replaced their supply of one of three drugs needed for lethal injection.

Bud Welch, whose daughter was killed in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, would say that’s good news.

The 74-year-old travels around the country to speak out about against the death penalty. He was in Nebraska last fall giving presentations about forgiveness and abolishing the death penalty, and he spoke with me over the phone a few days before his Omaha presentation.

“That year was just awful,” Bud said, referring to the year his 23-year-old daughter Julie was killed in the bombing of the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City.

In the months after Julie’s death, Bud said he went from supporting the death penalty for Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, who were found guilty of the terrorist attack, to taking a public stand against it.

“I was full of retribution at first to the point that I didn’t even want to have a trial. I just wanted them fried.”

Eventually he forgave the two men, and even met and developed a friendship with the family of McVeigh, who was executed in 2001 for his part in the bombing.

Test of faith

The day of the attack, Bud and his youngest son were at home about eight miles away from the federal building when they heard and felt the explosion. About 15 minutes later they learned it was the building in which Julie worked – and eventually were told Julie was dead.

Julie had been working at the federal building as a Spanish translator for the social security administration in Oklahoma City for eight months when the bombing happened. Strong in her faith and a graduate of Catholic school, she often went to week-day Mass and invited her dad to go with her.

“Julie was very devout and at that time I didn’t go to Mass all that often. She didn’t hammer me on that, she’d call me and invite me to Mass and usually I would go with her,” said Bud, who is divorced from Julie’s mother.

After her death, Bud said he started drinking and smoking heavily and was trying to self-medicate. 

“Most of that first month is a blur,” Bud said.

While he practiced his faith, Bud, a member of St. Therese of the Little Flower Parish in Oklahoma City, said he still struggled with feeling of anger after Julie was killed.

“I spent a period of time after her death angry at God because, in my opinion, he let this happen,” Bud said. “And then I was angry at myself because I always encouraged Julie to pursue foreign languages.”

His healing process took almost five years, he said. By then, he reached a point where he could forgive McVeigh and Nichols.

“When you forgive, it’s not an event, it’s a process,” he said. “Forgiveness is not doing a thing for the people who killed your child. You’re only doing something for yourself. When you’re finally able to forgive, it’s you that gets released; not the other people.”

Bud said so many years later, he enjoys talking to others about his experience because it brings comfort to others who have been through similar situations. He now speaks out publicly against the death penalty and has helped many other victims of violence find forgiveness and reconciliation.

Stacy Anderson, executive director of Nebraskans for Alternatives to the Death Penalty, said it was a privilege to have Bud speak at the organization’s annual reception and silent auction last September.

“We were privileged to hear Bud recount his journey from tragedy and anger to forgiveness and healing,” she said. “His personal story caused many to reconsider whether the death penalty was the best we could do for victims’ families in the wake of violence and loss.”

Blogged by Lisa Maxson, senior writer/reporter.

A Love Story

Mark & Katie Hartfiel

Mark and Katie Hartfiel said they want young Catholics to trust and have hope in God’s plan for their lives, especially in regards to their vocation.

And they hope that by telling their love story, others will find the love they share in their own lives.

“God has a plan, his plan is perfect and when we trust in him, he does not disappoint,” Katie said.

Katie, 30, who was on a guest on Spirit Mornings Thursday, wrote about the plan God had for her and Mark in her recent book, “Woman In Love.” In it she also encourages single young women to follow in her footsteps and pray for their future spouses.

“You aren’t waiting for your love story to start. You are living it right now,” Katie said. “My journey began years before I met Mark, and the Lord had so much to do with me in the meantime. Be active about letting God pursue and capture your heart, and trust that it isn’t about waiting for his plan to begin, it is about living in it right now.”

As a high school student in Colorado, Katie began praying for her future spouse. She kept a notebook in which she wrote letters to her “Husband-to-Be,” assuring him of her love and prayers for him. Years later, she discovered that the very same week she began her journal and her prayers for her future spouse, a young man in Houston – Mark – was inexplicably brought to his knees one night in an outpouring of grace that began his conversion to a life in Christ.

Mark and Katie, who live in Houston with their two daughters, said their story is about God’s goodness.

“He answers prayers a million times every day and we just received the gift to be able to see exactly when and how he did it,” Katie said.

Praying for her future spouse

Katie said she felt the desire to start praying for her husband-to-be during a leadership and discipleship training week she attended the summer before her senior year in high school. During that week, she fell in love with Jesus while journaling in Eucharistic adoration. That experience, she said, opened her heart even more to the yearning for a man that would love Christ more than he loved her.

Not long after Katie began writing the letters, her parents divorced. In an effort to cope, Katie said she described her hardships in her letters, as well as her hopes that her future would be different.

“I would tell my husband-to-be how I was praying for him and who I hoped to be for him,” Katie said.

She said she prayed for her future husband to be a spiritual leader in their relationship and focused many of her prayers on giving her him the grace to be transformed to a life in Christ if need be. But Katie said she also discovered that if she had such high hopes for the man she would marry, then she needed to become a woman who lived a life worthy of that man.

“Truly it was I who was transformed,” Katie said.

In her journal, she also begged God for specific intentions for her future spouse, Katie said. If he was struggling with poor decisions, friendships, bad influences or impurity, she said she pleaded with God to grant grace for conversion.

Meanwhile, a senior teenage boy in a Houston suburb was unknowingly receiving grace from prayers being uttered more than a thousand miles away.

Mark, 32, said he admits that his life in high school was pleasure-driven, revolving mainly around basketball, friends, parties, girls and beer.

But one summer night before his freshman year of college, he experienced a conversion that changed his life, Mark said.

While taking a shower, Mark said he felt the Holy Spirit rush into the room and into his heart.

“I experienced a deep and consuming love that could have only been an authentic encounter with the living God,” Mark said.

Mark instantly fell to his knees and he was struck with a sudden call to conversion, which seems to have no natural explanation, he said.

“I knew without a doubt that someone, somewhere was praying for me in a major way,” he said.

Following God’s plan

Katie and Mark both attended Franciscan University of Steubenville in Ohio, and they met in a class they had together. It took them awhile to get the courage to talk to one another, but once they did, Katie and Mark said they became instant friends.

About six months later, the friendship turned into romance.

Katie said that’s when she began to address the letters in her journal to Mark instead of to her husband-to-be.

“We were best friends for a long time before we started dating, which meant when it became official I felt we had a lot of clarity to know where it was going,” Katie said.

Mark, national coordinator of the That Man Is You! Men’s ministry, said the progression of their relationship seemed very natural.

“I knew early on that I was willing to give her everything and sacrifice anything for her,” Mark said. “I spent a lot of time in prayer before and during our dating relationship looking to discern the Lord’s will.”

That summer they returned to their hometowns and talked daily on the phone. During one chat, Katie asked Mark if he remembered the date of his conversion. When he told her, Katie said she was shocked to find out it was during the same week she began praying for her future spouse and his conversion.

“I could not believe that God answered my prayers in this profound way,” she said.

The night before their New Year’s Eve wedding nine years ago, Katie gave Mark her journal with a note explaining what it was.

Mark said he was stunned to receive such a gift.

“I didn’t fully understand the gravity of it until I began to dive into the letters,” said Mark, who took seven years to read all of Katie’s journal entries. “You can’t receive a gift like that and not be called on to be the best spouse you can be.”

Practicing chastity

Throughout their dating relationship, the Hartfiels said they were chaste and saved their physical intimacy for each other in marriage.

Mark said he hopes more young women will value their purity and save themselves for their future spouses and intercede on behalf of their husbands-to-be.

“I want girls to know that when they live lives of such deep purity and love, it will indeed transform,” Mark said. “When the man God has for them comes along, he will be captivated by this purity and it will be utterly beautiful to him. I pray that God will raise up men who value such women and in turn live lives of purity themselves.”

Want more?

You can read more about the Hartfiels and purchase “Woman In Love” at womaninlove.org. 

Blogged by Lisa Maxson, senior writer/reporter.