A Love Story

Mark & Katie Hartfiel

Mark and Katie Hartfiel said they want young Catholics to trust and have hope in God’s plan for their lives, especially in regards to their vocation.

And they hope that by telling their love story, others will find the love they share in their own lives.

“God has a plan, his plan is perfect and when we trust in him, he does not disappoint,” Katie said.

Katie, 30, who was on a guest on Spirit Mornings Thursday, wrote about the plan God had for her and Mark in her recent book, “Woman In Love.” In it she also encourages single young women to follow in her footsteps and pray for their future spouses.

“You aren’t waiting for your love story to start. You are living it right now,” Katie said. “My journey began years before I met Mark, and the Lord had so much to do with me in the meantime. Be active about letting God pursue and capture your heart, and trust that it isn’t about waiting for his plan to begin, it is about living in it right now.”

As a high school student in Colorado, Katie began praying for her future spouse. She kept a notebook in which she wrote letters to her “Husband-to-Be,” assuring him of her love and prayers for him. Years later, she discovered that the very same week she began her journal and her prayers for her future spouse, a young man in Houston – Mark – was inexplicably brought to his knees one night in an outpouring of grace that began his conversion to a life in Christ.

Mark and Katie, who live in Houston with their two daughters, said their story is about God’s goodness.

“He answers prayers a million times every day and we just received the gift to be able to see exactly when and how he did it,” Katie said.

Praying for her future spouse

Katie said she felt the desire to start praying for her husband-to-be during a leadership and discipleship training week she attended the summer before her senior year in high school. During that week, she fell in love with Jesus while journaling in Eucharistic adoration. That experience, she said, opened her heart even more to the yearning for a man that would love Christ more than he loved her.

Not long after Katie began writing the letters, her parents divorced. In an effort to cope, Katie said she described her hardships in her letters, as well as her hopes that her future would be different.

“I would tell my husband-to-be how I was praying for him and who I hoped to be for him,” Katie said.

She said she prayed for her future husband to be a spiritual leader in their relationship and focused many of her prayers on giving her him the grace to be transformed to a life in Christ if need be. But Katie said she also discovered that if she had such high hopes for the man she would marry, then she needed to become a woman who lived a life worthy of that man.

“Truly it was I who was transformed,” Katie said.

In her journal, she also begged God for specific intentions for her future spouse, Katie said. If he was struggling with poor decisions, friendships, bad influences or impurity, she said she pleaded with God to grant grace for conversion.

Meanwhile, a senior teenage boy in a Houston suburb was unknowingly receiving grace from prayers being uttered more than a thousand miles away.

Mark, 32, said he admits that his life in high school was pleasure-driven, revolving mainly around basketball, friends, parties, girls and beer.

But one summer night before his freshman year of college, he experienced a conversion that changed his life, Mark said.

While taking a shower, Mark said he felt the Holy Spirit rush into the room and into his heart.

“I experienced a deep and consuming love that could have only been an authentic encounter with the living God,” Mark said.

Mark instantly fell to his knees and he was struck with a sudden call to conversion, which seems to have no natural explanation, he said.

“I knew without a doubt that someone, somewhere was praying for me in a major way,” he said.

Following God’s plan

Katie and Mark both attended Franciscan University of Steubenville in Ohio, and they met in a class they had together. It took them awhile to get the courage to talk to one another, but once they did, Katie and Mark said they became instant friends.

About six months later, the friendship turned into romance.

Katie said that’s when she began to address the letters in her journal to Mark instead of to her husband-to-be.

“We were best friends for a long time before we started dating, which meant when it became official I felt we had a lot of clarity to know where it was going,” Katie said.

Mark, national coordinator of the That Man Is You! Men’s ministry, said the progression of their relationship seemed very natural.

“I knew early on that I was willing to give her everything and sacrifice anything for her,” Mark said. “I spent a lot of time in prayer before and during our dating relationship looking to discern the Lord’s will.”

That summer they returned to their hometowns and talked daily on the phone. During one chat, Katie asked Mark if he remembered the date of his conversion. When he told her, Katie said she was shocked to find out it was during the same week she began praying for her future spouse and his conversion.

“I could not believe that God answered my prayers in this profound way,” she said.

The night before their New Year’s Eve wedding nine years ago, Katie gave Mark her journal with a note explaining what it was.

Mark said he was stunned to receive such a gift.

“I didn’t fully understand the gravity of it until I began to dive into the letters,” said Mark, who took seven years to read all of Katie’s journal entries. “You can’t receive a gift like that and not be called on to be the best spouse you can be.”

Practicing chastity

Throughout their dating relationship, the Hartfiels said they were chaste and saved their physical intimacy for each other in marriage.

Mark said he hopes more young women will value their purity and save themselves for their future spouses and intercede on behalf of their husbands-to-be.

“I want girls to know that when they live lives of such deep purity and love, it will indeed transform,” Mark said. “When the man God has for them comes along, he will be captivated by this purity and it will be utterly beautiful to him. I pray that God will raise up men who value such women and in turn live lives of purity themselves.”

Want more?

You can read more about the Hartfiels and purchase “Woman In Love” at womaninlove.org. 

Blogged by Lisa Maxson, senior writer/reporter.