Catholic online dating: Keep the channels God gives you open.

He worked in the Middle Eastern desert doing hard things for his country for long hours and even longer months. He rode on camels and in armored tanks and breathed the driest air known to man. He discovered, much to his chagrin, that the Iraqi and Afghan heat is unlike anything you can experience anywhere else. It engulfs your being on the scorched desert sand. He learned that when the sun hides and the stars shine and you stand out in the nothing, in the utter quiet, it’s the easiest place on earth to talk to God.  

After his last tour in Iraq was coming to a close, he prepared to make the transition back into “normal” American life. After almost two years in the desert for his final deployment, he didn’t have any sense of community to come home too. He wanted to get married and start a family soon. But he didn’t know any girls. Especially any Catholic ones. And so three weeks before he returned home to the States, he signed up for a membership on CatholicMatch.com.

She returned to her beloved South after college, speaking truth words over radio waves and across conference rooms. She was passionate about many things and wanted to give all for a generation who so desperately needed their Savior. The Pope who had lit her generation on fire had ignited her heart too. The topics EWTN wanted her most to address on the show she hosted for teens were those related to dating, relationships, and chastity, because these were the hot button topics of her peers. And so she encouraged, she challenged, she convicted hearts. And even though she told them to wait as long as it takes – because in the end it would be worth every moment of the waiting – her heart grew weary as the years went by and still, her dream of marriage was just that: a distant dream. And so on her birthday on a late November evening, she signed up for a membership to CatholicMatch.com.

He says the laugh lines around her mouth and eyes are what first caught his attention, because he could tell she smiled a lot. He started emailing her through the dating site. And eventually she wrote back.

On Valentine’s Day 2008, they talked on the phone for the very first time.

And the rest is history.

Or perhaps the rest is now just our story: the one about dozens of plane trips back and forth for weekend dates, spending way too much time on the phone, wishing we lived closer than the 516 miles that separated us from the moment we met on Catholic Match until the week we became husband and wife a year and a half later. 

It’s a story of big moves and big transitions. Of babies being born and children being raised. Of striving to love and grow and learn and live.

Marrying Peter Weinert was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Truly, as we approach our fifth anniversary this summer, I am more in awe of what a great match we are now than I was when we met. We fit together so well. And I can assure you I have no idea how we’d ever have met if it hadn’t been for CatholicMatch.com. Truly, it brought two hearts together that otherwise would most likely never meet in “real life.”

It strikes me as ironic that in the social media-soaked society we live in, my husband and I still get nervous looks from single people when we share how we met, followed by a comment such as: “I could NEVER date someone on the Internet!”

And here’s what I wish I could assure every single Catholic in the world on this Valentine’s Day: You don’t date a person on the internet. You use the dating site as a tool (one of many) for meeting new people. But just as in any relationship, you must do the dating part in person. Within a few weeks of meeting on CatholicMatch, Peter flew down to South Carolina to meet my family and me in person. Even though our email and phone conversations were amazing, there’s no substitute for getting to know someone in person. A hefty sacrifice when you live long distance from each other, but totally, totally worth it.

If you’re single and dreaming of marriage this Valentine’s Day, I hope you’ll consider joining an online dating site. It never hurts to keep all the doors and all the options and channels God gives us open.

Trust me.

About Stephanie:

Stephanie Weinert is a Catholic speaker, blogger, and media personality. She lives in Charlotte, NC, with her husband Peter and their three sons: Mark (3), Luke (2), and Garrett (6 months). She blogs about marriage, motherhood, and everyday life at: www.LittleBitofParadise.wordpress.com